your room smells of hookers.
And success
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
accomplished twins. life is a go
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
