Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
