So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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