found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize