last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
