i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
