doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
