Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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