She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
