don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so let's talk penis.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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