Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
