It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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