these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
