Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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