i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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