3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
