GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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