Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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