I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
