i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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