i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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