We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
