I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
