You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
