Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
