i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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