can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
