wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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