Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I did not marry a roomba.
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