he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize