went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize