Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
