I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
