She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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