Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize