Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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