I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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