you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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