The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
