There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
