At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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