My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
