Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
