You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just sent this text using only my big toe
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
