A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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