So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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