i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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