just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize