Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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