We're facebook friends in real life
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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