just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
be right there i have to get my cape
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
