she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
