if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
