so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
