He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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